As a Redditor already said 16 years ago in November 2009 …
Bloody hell this is old, last time i saw it was back in 1998, and it was in a Word document with WAV files embedded in to it.
Yep. That’s the one.
The story as supposedly told by Martin Pointon, who assisted Paul Garner in the mission
“We’d go and sit on the balcony at Terminal 3 at Heathrow, directly under one of the speakers where the roof is low for maximum acoustic effects. We had a DAT machine hidden in our bag with its microphone poking out of the top.
“We’d find a flight that had recently arrived from somewhere like Saudi Arabia, then go to Airport Information, hand them a prewritten note with the names of the two fictitious passengers we were supposed to pick up, and ask that they be paged. This way, with the flight information written on the note, it looked like everything had been arranged in advance.
“We even wore ID badges and carried a mobile phone so we looked more like taxi drivers. If they asked, we’d pretend to be unable to pronounce the names ourselves and just hand them the bit of paper.
“We got busted doing the fifth one. They actually threatened to arrest us because ‘there have been complaints’. We toyed with trying it again just to see exactly what they would arrest us for, but we decided instead that it was easier just to go to Gatwick. But that’s why the last one sounds bad; Gatwick is much noisier and the ceilings are higher.” [link]
Here are the audio files. Fill yer boots.
| Listen | The names as they were written | How they sound when read out loud |
|---|---|---|
| Arheddis Varkenjabb and Aywellbe Fayed | I hate this fucking job and I will be fired | |
| Arjevbin Fayed and Bybeiev Rhibodie | I’ve just been fired and bye-bye everybody | |
| Aynayda Pizaqvick and Malexa Kröest | I need a piss quick and my legs are crossed | |
| Awul Dasfilshabeda and Nowaynayda Zheet | Ah-oh, that feels better and now I need a shit | |
| Makollig Jezvahted and Levdaroum DeBahzted | My colleague just farted and left the room, the bastard | |
| Steelaygot Maowenbach and Tuka Piziniztee | Still, I got my own back and took a piss in his tea |
The Chris Morris Music Show, BBC Radio 1, 30 Nov 1994
These three short videos don’t add much but Chris Morris interviewed Paul Garner at the time.