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7 June 2025

Stuff Americans say
Metric part 1

Stuff Americans say
A retractable tape measure
Twitter/X reply (username redacted). Tweet: "i can't believe countries use the overly complicated metric system. It is a total scam" 11:24 AM, Feb 21, 2022.
Twitter/X thread with Finnish-language interface ("Seuraa"). Top tweet (username redacted, 8t): "yall and your Celsius telling the temperature who the fuck uses Celsius". Reply below (username redacted) with text "okay but" and an attached world map showing Celsius (blue) vs Fahrenheit (orange) usage - virtually the entire world is blue except the US which is orange
YouTube comment (username redacted, 11 hours ago). Comment: "You sound like an American. How about miles per hour? I don't know how fast 50k kilometers per hour is. The metric system is just a left wing political tool."
Social media post (avatar shows a fried egg on a plate). Large text: "to remember how many feet there are in a mile, u just gotta use 5 tomatoes five to-mate-oes sounds like five, two, eight, 0 and there's 5280 feet in a mile"
TikTok/Instagram screenshot. Video showing dense green foliage/trees. Comment (username redacted, 9-21): "We don't use the metric system because we got a flag on the fucking moon" with two laughing-crying emojis
Instagram/TikTok comment thread. Top post by mkltrolmfr (18 o.) with text "THIS IS AIRPORT SYSTEM" and two grinning emojis. Cartoon illustration comparing airport luggage rules: left panel shows a large woman (120 kg) with a small bag (23 kg) under "MAXIMUM 25" sign; right panel shows a slim man (27 kg) with a large suitcase (55 kg) under "MAXIMUM 25" sign. Reply below (7 o.): "This is so funny bc I'M 140... WHO is 55 pounds and a grown woman" with confused emoji
Comment thread (appears to be a car/automotive website). Four comments with username redacted colours. First (purple, 4 days ago, 12 downvotes): "Hey jackass, we use MPH in this country." Second (teal/green, 3 days ago): "Wheels is an Australian magazine, we use metric measurements." Third (red, 16 hours ago, 6 downvotes): "You're on the internet, which is American. Therefore you can use American (the best) measurements." Fourth (blue, 3 hours ago): "Actually, the world wide web was first developed in CERN. I don't blame you for not knowing that, you're apparently an American."
TikTok/Instagram comment (username redacted, 1d). Comment: "Fahrenheit is just easier it's literally the higher the number, the hotter it is and the lower, the colder, Celsius is just confusing"
Reddit post. Two diagrams comparing date format ordering. Left: "Majority of the world's countries" - a proper pyramid with Day (smallest) at top, Month in middle, Year (largest) at bottom. Right: "USA" - an inverted/irregular shape with Month at top, Day (smallest) squeezed in middle, Year at bottom. Comment below by big-tiddie-goth-gf (-2 points, score hidden, 8 minutes ago, downvoted): "Good thing we don't speak in stupid triangle graphs like autistic Europeans and know that September 16th sounds better than 16th September. Again, it's stupid and so are you."
Facebook/Instagram comment thread. Top: meme of a person crawling in the desert towards water, with labels "water" and arrows - "1 mile" to one water source, "1 kilometer" to another, labelled "Americans". Comment below (username redacted): "A mile is shorter than a kilometer. Yes, I googled it because when I drive it's in freedom units." Embedded Google search screenshot showing "miles to kilometers" with result "1 mile = 1.609 kilometers". 49m, Haha react, Reply. 34 laughing-face reactions
Twitter/X post (username redacted). Tweet: "The whole world hates America because our numbers are so good. 100 degrees - that's a really hot day. 100 MPH - that's really fast. $100 - that's a lot of money. They wish they could live like this." 15:38, 18 Jul 22.
Twitter/X thread. Top tweet text: "Melbourne is closer to Antarctica than it is to Darwin". Attached map of Australia showing distances: Darwin to Melbourne 3,140 km, Melbourne to Antarctica 3,120 km. Reply below (username redacted): "Not if you use miles instead of kilometers but point taken."
Reddit comment thread. End_Killer (17h): "Nothing gets me off better than when a grown-ass 60 kg woman stomps my wie wie to a mushy state." deafforlolz (17h, -15 downvotes): "Fuckin europeans with ur kilograms and euros Use REAL measurements or go back to europia!" End_Killer (16h): "But... I'm not European..."
Twitter/X thread with French-language interface ("Traduire le post"). Top tweet by Rivelino (@alpharivelino, 22h): "This is extremely disturbing". Embedded video thumbnail showing a woman with Italian text "SAPETE QUANTO SONO 20cm?" and "EDIZIONE FEMMINILE" (0:04/1:04). Reply by CosmicAdonis (@TheCosmicAdonis, verified): "They make centimeter tape measures? Why?" 5:07 AM, 18 janv. 2025.
Instagram post by everythingaboutmaps (Suggested for you, Explore page). Infographic: "STANDARDS OF PAPER DIMENSIONS" with world map showing US Letter (blue, 215.9mm x 279.4mm / 8.5in x 11in) used in North/South America, and A4 (orange, 210mm x 297mm / 8.27in x 11.69in) used in rest of world. "EVERYTHING ABOUT MAPS" watermark. Comments section: comment (username redacted, 3d): "Wait why don't yall use 8.5 by 11?"
Reddit comment thread. oONamely (1m, -9 downvotes): "How tall is that in real height". CelloBae (29m): "2.2m". oONamely (28m, -10 downvotes): "Yeah but in like real height tho". CelloBae (26m): "2.2 meters is 220 cm". oONamely (23m, -10 downvotes): "Yeah but like in real measurements". CelloBae (22m): "0.022 km". oONamely (21m, -12 downvotes): "Google answered my question 7'2"
Reddit comment thread. Eric_The_Viking (12 mo): "The one thing metric can't replace is the kitchen imperial system." azayaa (12 mo): "False". Eric_The_Viking (12 mo): "Then tell me, why do all the internet recipe's measure in small and big spoons." azayaa (12 mo): "What internet are you using bro? The recipes Google gives me are in ml, dl, l... g, dag, kg..."
Instagram/TikTok screenshot composite. Top: infographic titled "SOUTH AMERICA - Lowest and highest temperatures ever recorded in South America - In degrees Celsius" with two maps - left showing lowest temps in blue shades (ranging from -32.8C to 12.7C), right showing highest temps in red/orange shades (ranging from 40.1C to 48.9C). M logo watermark. Bottom: Comments section. First comment (username redacted, Follow, 4w, Edited): "Lowest and highest temperatures ever recorded in South America". Reply (username redacted, 5w): "Use Fahrenheit it's more accurate."
Twitter/X thread. Neil Degrease Tyson (@Degreas..., 8h): "This is what happens to aluminium when hit by a 14g piece of plastic going 24,000 km/h in space." Photo of a large crater/hole in a block of aluminium. Reply below (username redacted): "curious, why use grams and not miles per hour, ya know, like everybody else."
Social media post. White text: "If metric is more easier to follow than imperial than explain this: 1 inch=2.54 centimeters, 1 foot=30.48 centimeters, 1 yard=91.44 centimeters, 1 ounce=28.3495 grams, 1 pound=453.592 grams. On one side, single digit. Easy to follow........ One the other side, wacky numbers, all with lots of extra numbers on the end....... Kinda seems like........maybe it's not so easy to follow after all?" with thinking emoji
Twitter/X thread with Dutch-language interface ("Collectie", "Tweet vertalen", "Geciteerde Tweets", "Vind-ik-leuks"). Top tweet (username redacted): "Fahrenheit just makes so much more sense than Celsius". 23 mei 21 om 17:45. 595 Geciteerde Tweets, 1.495 Vind-ik-leuks. Reply (username redacted, 1d): "Oh great foreign Twitter has found my tweet"
Twitter/X thread. Top tweet (username redacted, balloon avatar, 21 Jan): "1 cup has to be the stupidest measurement ever tf is a cup which cup?" Reply (username redacted): "Measuring with grams feels like I'm conducting a science experiment 100g this 250g that, I'm baking a cake for toot's sake! Cups are so easy! Just buy a set of preset cup sizes, most grocery stores have them! Just admit we have figured out a better way of measuring things!"
Instagram comment thread with German-language interface ("Antworten", "Ubersetzung anzeigen"). Three comments. First (username redacted, 4 Tg.): "This is America - we do inches!" with sunglasses, smiling and thumbs-up emojis. Second (username redacted, 4 Tg.): "IG is an international platform just because you're in the US doesn't mean everyone is". Third (username redacted, 3 Tg.): "Thanks for the info - I will no longer follow this account!"
TikTok comment with Finnish-language interface ("Vastaa"). user473431017996 (12-06): "Did he say average 41 degrees in the summer??? IN DUBAI??? MORE 141 degrees LMAO. Still a beautiful place."
Twitter/X thread with French-language interface ("Suivre"). Top: post by no context memes (@weirdda..., 1j): "my little sister went on a date with a young farmer tonight. He decided to gift her a 12kg wheel of cheese...?" Two photos showing a woman in bed holding a large wheel of cheese, plus the "Trad wife / Chad farmer" meme template. Reply by not haldu (@_nothaldu, verified): "Tf is a kg"
Instagram/TikTok screenshot composite. Top: video still showing blurred grey image with caption "Sand when it hits a temperature of 3090 F". Bottom: Comments. First (US flag/gun avatar): "For those wondering what Fahrenheit is: it's the temperature system that the only people have landed on the moon used." Reply (username redacted, 3d): "NASA used metric for their calculations tho". Reply (US flag avatar, username redacted, 3d): "doesn't matter nasa is American and America uses imperial so get fucked world war losers."
Tags:US metric·SAS·USA

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  • Stuff Americans say: Metric part 2
  • Stuff Americans say: US eh?
  • Stuff Americans say: Europe part 4
  • Stuff Americans say: Socialism 😱 part 1
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