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1 August 2025

Scottish people X
Part 1

Scottish people X

Tweet from montyyyy: 'Never understood why acts at festivals shout "are you ready" aye two seconds pal a needty tie my lace pause the tunes'

Use this site if you ever want to learn the meaning of a Scots word and the history of when it was cited in literature. Example: https://dsl.ac.uk/entry/snd/glaikit

@rosiemudie tweet - Called a weird French bitch out for being a wee cow on my photo and she's threatened tae come to Scotland and beat me up omg je suis shitting my pantalons x.

FlannyTM @LiamFlannigan1 tweet - Bird at work was born on a leap year and said she's actually only 8 so I called her husband a peedo and she's put a complaint in

Len Pennie @Lenniesaurus tweet (23/12/2021) - It's fatal tae ask if your family are wanting a cup of tea. Starts as a polite offer an suddenly it's like you've clocked in fur a shift at Starbucks.

Tweet (handle obscured) - Fuck Romeo and Juliet ma dad has dementia and has forgot how to roll a joint and ma mums learned to make them on a machine for him if that's no fucking love a dno wit is

Edinburgh News @edinburghpaper tweet - Darren Thomson, 22, heard his nurses talking about how they supported rival team Hearts - and shocked them by blurting out his first words: Hearts are s***e. Hibs fan who had stroke utters first words in four months

Sarah @_xSarahKelly tweet (04/12/2017) - im going to do my dissertation on the fact I've worked in a pub for 2 months and not once has a man used a straw. One guy went dae i have tits? when I offered him one. It's gonny be titled will men ever take a day aff

jeff @rjeffreyrfc tweet (Sep 25 2017, from Blackridge, Scotland) - Got some good financial news today. Wee African boy I was sponsoring has been eaten by a lion.

Calum Paton @calum_paton tweet - lassie ID'd me at tesco and said is this you or your twin brother - if he was ma twin he'd be the same age as me ya badger

gabriel @Gabby8867 tweet - Seen a group of Chinese students kidding on to be pure coughing as people were walking by at Glasgow uni today n it's the only bit of decent patter I've seen in the place in three weeks since having to take a class there

Aidn @_AM63__ tweet (17/01/2018) - A hate when a see americans brag about their crackheads lit theyre better than Scotlands junkies are they fuck ave watched 2 junkies stake out in a bush to nick a wee guys bike then fight each other cos realised only one could ride it.

joe heenan @joeheenan tweet - I'm in London and once again another shopkeeper has refused to take my cash cause it's a Scottish note. I'm fuming. Photo of handmade Bank of Connery note with Sean Connery photo, 007 Connerys denomination

Fuad Alakbarov @DrAlakbarov tweet (22/04/2019) replying to @Hilary_W - London may have more money and Vienna more culture; Rome may have more history and Paris more style. But Glasgow has the biggest heart. Reply from Sam @SamuelConnor: My gran got stabbed in Glasgow

Cecil Teapot @cecilteaspoon tweet - I like Scottish clothes shops, they let you see how good you look crawling home pished. Photo of a shop window display where one mannequin is lying face down on the floor

Scottish Rugby @Scotlandteam tweet wishing England good luck ahead of the RWC2019 Final in Japan, saying just this once Scotland will be supporting you, normal service resumed at BT Murrayfield in February. Reply from Marc @MarcJWallace - Would rather guide my da into my maw than support England in anything. Away ye go.

charlie @charliefyfe_ quote tweet of Matthew Townsley @_townsleyy who said that wee voice in ur head ur using to read this doesnt get any louder, how mentals that. Charlie replies - dno wits wrang wae u or how stoned u r but ur a fuckin dafty sittin makin me try tae shout in ma own heed

Meme - When marijuana is legalised in a Scotland. Photo of cannabis leaves deep-fried in batter on kitchen roll

Myajoy Muldoon @myaj0ymuld00nx tweet - Av been slagged for mine since a was a wain to the point where someone said she widny snort lines she'd snort paragraphs. Quote tweeting Ines @Iness213__ who posted a close-up photo of a large nose with Sco pa tu manaa (what do you think about this)

Gumtree listing screenshot - Search for Dog in Aberdeenshire. Listing: Spoilt Corgi for rehoming, Ballater, Aberdeenshire. Description reads My maw finally carked it! Loving mah new hoose, but her dug is a bastard. Free to a good home. Or a bad home. Whatever. Age: 96 years. Ready to leave: Now. FREE. 8 Sep 2022

Meme - What people think Scotland is like vs What it's actually like. Left photo shows a man in full Highland dress playing bagpipes in scenic mountains. Right photo shows someone hanging from a lamppost in a housing estate, captioned walkin ma dog this morning and seen a junkie hangin from a lamppost

Tweet (handle obscured, 27/05/2018) - Saw a lad at uni fall arse over tit down a couple of stairs and his mates just stopped and asked if he was okay. What kind of mutant bastard do you have to be to not piss yourself laughing when your friend's in physical pain

Goudie @Goudie15 tweet (8/14/18) - Want to end racism? Just have a mad open border world orgy, everycunt just pure bangin each other, nae work or that, just shaggin, for 25 years. New generations won't be racist cause they'll have a wee bit a everythin in them. How do a apply for the Nobel Peace Prize?

con @connorwaltss tweet - My girlfriend of 4 years slept with my best mate, imagine that. Reply from @lewhopkins - I was never your mate. Yeah we use to knock about but wasn't your best at all. Took your bird off you and if you carry on with that shite I'll take your ma next

Photo collage of a Beefeater pub sign. Original reads Kick off the Coronation with welcome cocktails. Someone has used black tape (shown in middle panel) to alter it to read Fuck off the Coronation

Danny Sheridan Facebook post (23 November 2018) - Mental how birds are ALWAYS freezing in the hoose, heating cranked up, house coats, furry blankets, socks made out of fucking polar bears' foreheeds, but as soon as they've got a night out they're sliding about in the snow in fuck all but a skirt that just covers their mackerel hammock, a pair of heels n bare feet and a top made of less material than a 6ix9ine album

UberFacts @UberFacts tweet - In 2007, Scotland spent six months of research and $162,972 to create a new slogan that would boost tourism. They came up with Welcome to Scotland

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